


About fucking time

by MidgardianNerd



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, School Reunion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-17 03:44:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21047762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidgardianNerd/pseuds/MidgardianNerd
Summary: Poe and Jessika go to their high school reunion and it brings memories to Poe.





	About fucking time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [idrilhadhafang](https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/gifts).

> For Idril, my partner in crime, who felt unwell. I hope it will help you to get better.

“Please Dameron!” whined Jessika and Poe looked at her, blushing. “Could you stop being so nervous?” she added and Poe tried to stay still but miserably failed. “That’s our high school reunion!” continued Jessika, joyful. “We’re all ten years older and 50% less dumb.” she finished and Paige, her girlfriend laughed which made Jessika smiling proudly. 

“Sorry!” mumbled Poe, looking into his glass, not wanting to spoil the fun of the evening. 

Jessika talked about this party for weeks, since they got the invitations. She wanted to show to Paige where she spent some of the best years of her life, where she won so many medals at the captain of the soccer team and most that all, where she met Poe and they became the best friends of each other. 

Poe knew that Jessika loved her high school time and to be honest, Poe loved it too. But reminding this time was also remembering the biggest mistake of his life because he was too afraid to act at this time. 

“Poe!” called Paige with her usual sweet voice and Poe looked at her. “What happens?” she asked, guessing that something was bothering him. 

Poe blushed again. They knew each other for only three years but Poe always felt like Paige knew him forever, always understanding when Poe had a problem, when sometimes Jessika could be totally oblivious to her best friend’s distress. Poe couldn’t have dreamt of a better partner for his best friend. The girls were wonderful together and Poe sometimes felt a little bit jealous to not have this special person at his side, like them. 

“Nothing!” smiled softly Poe, trying to make illusion but Jessika didn’t miss his side glance towards another group of ex-students talking further. 

At the center, a tall blonde woman was captivating the audience, people remembering Phasma as being their boxing champion. The woman pursued this career after their high school graduation and now she was a double world champion. At her side, a tall ginger man was standing, his face distorted in a wince, his arms around his wife’s waist. Poe remembered having read about him in a gossip magazine once Phasma’s face on the cover pushed him to buy it. Armitage Hux. He was apparently a successful CEO and Poe couldn’t help chuckling. Sure their little reunion at Yavin’s school, in the middle of nowhere, was probably extremely different from New York and the high society circles. 

“I can’t believe!” exclaimed Jessika and Poe looked away quickly. “You’re still not over him?” she asked, incredulous and Poe frowned. She couldn’t understand. Jessika never has been ashamed to be gay. She had her lot of girlfriends when they were at high school. And now, she had Paige, the love of her life. Jessika couldn’t understand what it felt to live for years with the what-could-have-been. 

“Over who?” asked Paige and Poe didn’t have the time to answer that Jessika was already ranting about Poe’s non-existent love life when they were still teens. 

“Ben Solo.” answered Jessika. “Seen The Breakfast Club?” she asked and Paige nodded. “Well, he was a mix between The Criminal and the Basketcase. He was Phasma’s best friend.” she added, pointing the boxer to Paige. “Poe had a crush on him for years. You know, the whole tall, dark and handsome stuff.”

Poe blushed. Jessika made him sound like a Jane Austen heroine. It was ridiculous. 

“Surprisingly, he was also funny and not as much a dick as I would think.” continued Jessika and Poe could remember all the times Ben fought against arseholes in the corridors of the school, sending them to the infirmary and himself to detention. Even with the threat of expulsion, the boy never stopped to fight every time he spotted a bully in action. “Poe and him got friends, nobody knew how. And we all thought they would end together. But it never happened.” finished to explain Jessika like it was nothing, like Poe didn’t have his heart crushed down in the process, like he didn’t spend the last ten years wondering what would be his life if things went differently. 

“Sounds like a great guy.” smiled softly Paige towards Poe and the young man answered shyly with a nod. 

“You know, I don’t want to crush your hopes Poe but...I doubt he would come.” winced Jessika. “ He always hated this place.” she added and Poe knew she was right but couldn’t help to get angry. 

Poe remembered Ben when they were children. The boy was shy and very discreet, trying to disappear in the back of the classroom. But then, his parents divorced when he was 13 and Ben became an angry little thing - not that little for long but still angry. The boy began to fight at every opportunity or to contradict every professor on almost everything. The only reason he didn’t get fired was because his mother was the principal. But it didn’t stop Ben to try again and again. 

Poe once asked him what he was doing that, when he had a mother who loved him and a comfortable life. Ben bitterly answered him that Poe didn’t know anything about his mother. After months, Ben finally admitted to him that he hoped to be fired so he would have to go living with his father. It never happened though. Until their graduation and Ben disappearing from the town the next day, without saying goodbye to anybody. 

Poe felt tears prickling his eyes and he excused himself before walking away from his friends. He was enough pathetic with his long-term crush on Ben, no need to cry down in public. In the background, he heard Paige scolding Jessika for her insensitivity. 

* * *

Poe was serving himself a glass of punch when Paige joined, the young woman offering him a pitiful smile and Poe felt grateful. He offered him his glass before taking another one for himself. 

“Sorry for Jessika.” winced Paige and Poe softly shook his head.

“Don’t worry. I know how she is.” answered Poe, chuckling sadly. “She...she can’t understand.” he added, sighing, taking support on the table, like all the world was weighing on his shoulders. 

“Understanding what?” frowned Paige, her hand softly stroking Poe’s shoulder in support. 

“She doesn’t know the whole story between Ben and I.” confessed Poe and it felt good to admit it for the first time to someone. 

“I’m listening.” replied Paige and Poe knew she was honest. 

“Ben and I were friends. But...but we knew that there was something more between us.” sighed Poe and Paige took his hand, pressing it in hers. 

“You were in love?” smiled softly Paige and Poe couldn’t help smiling, remembering the feeling of Ben’s soft eyes on him, his attraction and affection blatant. 

“Yeah.” breathed out Poe. 

“What happened so? He left you without a word?” frowned the young woman and Poe shook his head.

“Everybody thinks that but it’s more complicated.” admitted Poe, feeling his heart drumming against his ribcage. “I...Ben kissed me. At the prom.” continued Poe, a soft smile sliding on his lips, his mouth tickling with the ghost of a kiss he tried to hold back for the last ten years. 

“Very romantic.” chuckled Paige and Poe laughed with her. 

“Yeah. He could be.” whispered softly Poe, remembering all these months they spent flirting, Ben, the shy and awkward Ben, being able to be the most witty and charming man Poe never met. 

“So what happened Poe?” asked Paige and Poe had to close his eyes, trying to hold back his tears. 

“I...I got scared.” sobbed Poe and Paige took him in his arms, the young man wrapping his arms around her, needing the comfort of his friend. 

“About what?” whispered Paige and Poe took a deep breath.

“I...Ben is the first man I fell in love with.” said Poe. “Before him, I wasn’t even aware that I could fall in love with a man.” he added, whipping off his cheeks and Paige helped him with a tissue. 

“You didn’t know you were bisexual.” stated Paige, beginning to understand what Poe lived, she herself had difficulties to accept she was gay. 

“No, I didn’t know.” whispered Poe, looking down. “Jessika never doubted who she was. And Ben...Ben wasn’t struggling neither with his sexuality. But I...I spent all my life thinking I would have a wife and kids and suddenly Ben appeared in my life and changed everything.” explained Poe shrieking on himself, hating to remember this period of his life, when he spent months, even years to accept who he was. 

“Poe! If he couldn’t accept you needed time-” began Paige but Poe shook his head violently and the young woman stopped to talk. 

“I ran away. When he kissed me.” struggled out Poe and Paige could see the pain going through his whole body, the young man probably having passing nights and days regretting this right moment. “I ran away and Ben disappeared right after our graduation.” he finished, drained from all energy. “I never saw him again after that.” 

“But...why didn’t you try to contact him again?” asked Paige.

“He probably forgets me.” replied Poe, standing up again and whipping off his face from all marks of his previous breakdown. “I would have done the same at his place.” he added, bitterly and Paige hated to hear him talking like that. 

“You still love him?” asked Paige even if she already knew the answer. Everything in Poe, his voice when he was talking about this man, his body shivering when Poe remembered something about him, his eyes and his smile going soft when he was saying his name, could tell to Paige that this Ben was still the greatest love Poe had in his life. 

“I do.” whispered Poe, his voice shaking. “I will ever do.” he added and Paige took him again in her arms, his nose burying into Paige’s neck. “Thank you!” breathed out Poe. “Jessika and I are really lucky to have you in our lives.” 

“I’m as much lucky to have both of you.” answered the young woman and both shared a smile. 

“We should join back Jess.” said Poe and Paige nodded, taking the arm Poe presented to her and they walked back to Paige’s girlfriend. 

* * *

Poe decided to focus on the party and he was now sat with Jess and Paige, Karé and Snap, the popular couple of their school joined them, now married and with children, and all remembered their high school time. Poe almost forgot how dumb they were all at this time of their lives. 

They were remembering the day Jessika dyed her hair in rainbow colours after someone made an homophobic remark when they saw Phasma walking across the room, her eyes throwing murderous thunderbolts so all of them looked towards the door, where apparently was the reason of her anger. 

Everybody froze when they recognized Ben Solo. The man was even taller than the last time Poe saw him and definitely more muscled. Poe thought he remembered him well, but now he doubted. Ben was even more beautiful than in his memories. He grew out from an awkward lanky boy to a strong man, still with an unconventional face but graceful. Poe felt his heart beating hard against his chest. It was like all these feelings he spent years trying to tone down were coming back, and stronger than before. 

This man was someone that Poe didn’t know, so different from the boy he fell in love with. But when Phasma punched his chest before wrapping an arm around his neck and mimicking a strangulation, Poe saw this dorky smile appearing on his lips and Ben was finally there. Ben was finally back. And Poe didn’t have a clue of what he should do.

He felt Jessika and Paige coming closer to him, silently supporting him but he couldn’t look away from Ben. He wanted for the man to look at him and at the same time, he didn’t know what he would do if he would cross Ben’s deep eyes. But the man wasn’t looking at him, only having eyes for his best friend. Poe saw him presenting to Phasma the young girl accompanying him. She was maybe five or six years younger than them, with long blond hair and an ephemeral face. She was striking beautiful, her smile brightening the whole room. She was almost the perfect physical reversal of Ben and Poe had to admit they looked good together, even if it hurt him. Looked like Ben really forgot him after all. 

* * *

When the slow dances began, Poe was left alone at his table. He spent the last hour looking at Ben, miserable. Jessika decided to go investigating about the young girl accompanying Ben and Paige got after him, fearing what she could do. But it looked like they got themselves charmed by the bright smile and blue eyes of the lady. They spent the last ten minutes talking and laughing with her. And Poe should have been jealous but he could see how Jessika and Paige were flirting with her. They talked several times about including someone else in their couple and of fucking course, it was Poe’s luck they got interested by Ben’s girlfriend. 

“Can I have this dance?” asked a deep voice behind Poe and the young man looked up, losing his breath when he saw Ben standing before him, a nervous smile on his lips even if he tried to hide it. 

“Ben!” gasped Poe and Ben smiled softly.

“Poe!” whispered back the young man, his eyes shining. “So? This dance?” asked again Ben, tending his hand towards Poe. 

Poe looked at him, swallowing hard before looking up to his old friend, trying to see if there was any anger in these dark eyes. But there was only the same affection and kindness that Poe remembered. Ben waited patiently and Poe tried to calm down his heart. It was the opportunity he missed all these years. So Poe softly nodded and took Ben’s hand, the young man leading them on the dancefloor. 

Ben carefully wrapped an arm around Poe’s waist and the young man hold his breath when he was dragged against this strong body, hesitantly wrapping an arm around Ben’s waist.

“Breathe!” chuckled Ben against his ear and Poe relaxed, feeling the deeper voice than in his memory flowing on him like a hot wave.

“Sorry!” mumbled Poe, looking down.

“You didn’t lose this habit to excuse yourself for anything.” answered the young man and Poe looked up, his eyes being caught by the intense eyes of his friend. 

“Sorry.” whispered automatically Poe and Ben laughed, the sound going down to nest in Poe’s stomach. 

They stayed silent for the rest of the dance but when another one began, none of them thought about breaking their embrace. 

“Your girlfriend is beautiful.” whispered Poe shyly and he saw Kylo shooking his head, a beautiful grin on his mouth. 

“Thanks.” he answered and Poe felt the burden sliding down his throat. “But Tallie isn’t my girlfriend.” he added and Poe looked up at him, like he grew out a second head. “Gay, remembered?” he chuckled and Poe stammered an excuse. 

“I thought that maybe you-” mumbled Poe but stopped when Ben’s hand tightened around his flank.

“I haven’t changed since you saw me for the last time Poe.” whispered the young man, his eyes piercing through Poe’s face and Poe felt his cheeks burning from heat and his heart beating like a madman in his chest. “Tallie is my sister.” he explained to Poe and the young man frowned. 

“Your sister?” breathed out Poe.

“Kinda.” winced Ben. “She has been adopted by Enfys. Enfys is the new companion of my father.” he explained and Poe nodded, feeling the weight on his stomach lifting up suddenly. “I went living with them after my graduation.” 

Poe felt the tears prickling back in his eyes when Ben spoke about their graduation. Their last time together. Poe bit down his lips, trying to hold his tears back. He didn’t have the right to show his regrets to Ben. He missed his chance. 

“Poe!” whispered Ben, his thumb whipping off a tear on Poe’s cheek and the young man sobbed, feeling this tender move resonating at the deep core of his heart. 

“I’m sorry.” sobbed Poe. “I...I shouldn’t have flee and-” he began but Ben pushed his thumb against Poe’s lips. 

“You weren’t ready Poe.” whispered Ben, cradling Poe’s face in his big hand. “You don’t have to apologize.” he added and Poe sobbed harder, not understanding how Ben could be so comprehensive. “And to be honest, I’m not sure I was in the right mind to handle a relationship.” he added, blushing softly. “And I wouldn’t have wanted to wreck my only chance with you.” he finished, his forehead resting against Poe. 

“Did I wreck my only chance with you?” asked Poe, feeling hope filling his blood. 

“I came here for you Poe. Only for you.” whispered the taller man, his lips brushing against Poe’s. 

Poe looked in these deep eyes, seeing only honesty in them and maybe a spark of hope. Poe couldn’t stop crying, not believing that all of this was happening. Could it be so simple? Could Ben and he truly having a second chance? 

“You’re thinking too hard Poe.” whispered Kylo, his thumb brushing against Poe’s cheekbone. 

“I can’t believe you’re real.” answered the young man and he saw his friend smiling, amused before he softly pressed his lips against Poe’s mouth. 

Poe’s heart missed a beat before the young man slid his hands in Ben’s hair, not wanting for the man to leave his mouth again. Their sweet kiss soon became hungry, their bodies cuddling in each other’s, not even an inch between them. Poe felt like a teen again, like the first time Ben kissed him. He couldn’t believe he managed to live without this feeling for the last ten years. When their kiss broke, both were left breathless, looking at each other, their eyes shining with tears of happiness. 

“Enough real for you?” smirked Kylo, out of breath.

“I don’t care.” gasped Poe. “As long as you’re not letting me going away again.” whispered the young man and his friend grinned.

“Never.” answered Kylo before taking back his lips between his. 

They tore themselves from each other when they heard people clapping around them. Both men blushed when they saw their friends cheering up, Phasma even screaming that it was about fucking time. Poe and Ben looked at each other before laughing. They shared another kiss before joining their friends, reunited. 

It was like they were all ten years younger, like they never left each other. Except that Poe didn’t miss his chance this time. And that Jessika was right. They were 50% less dumb. Well, maybe just 25%.

**Author's Note:**

> My Tumblr: @midgardiannerd  
Our Tumblr: @knightsofdamnren


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